A Serene Sunday… Thoughts on Life, Nature and Poetry

It has been a beautiful weekend with magnificent weather, finally! I am feeling particularly strong mental and determined, despite some obstacles I must conquer this in the next few days, to have a wonderful week. A new found perspective on the joy of life is finally overwhelming my soul and I am making a conscious effort to do one thing a week that frightens me (yes, it’s a clique therapy goal but sometimes it ok to follow some psycho-babble bullshit once in a while). My life has been far too structured for far too long and it is time I start living my best life with serious intention and no expectations.

In the wee hours of the morning, sitting on my deck having a cigarette and watching the crimson sky transform into a lucid blue, William Wordsworth’s poetry popped into my head. His appreciation for natural world and ability to capture its imperfections inspires me to understand that beauty. The poem’s lyrical movement exemplifies the idea that poetry is an emotion engulfed in tranquility, where imagination is the key that unlocks the innermost depths of the human spirit; the imagination is best awakened by celebrating the wonders of nature.

I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud
By William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils,
Beside the lake, beneath the trees
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee: -
A poet could not but be gay
In such a jocund company:
I gazed -and gazed -but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought.

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills
And dances with the daffodils.

Serene Saturday... A Poem

To Sleep
By Jenna Reimer

I must sleep – though my body will not allow.
Waves of wind draw shadows of dead leaves
Strewed about my window,
Drifting in a breeze singing of tomorrows;
Leaf upon leaf, leaf upon earth.
Birds cry in the blustery breeze
Thundering crossways that once held them
Suspended in the air.
An untamed chill steals my essence
Falling into a bittersweet place.
The roar of a furnace, the fleeting traffic,
Heavy feet treading the walkway:
It lessens my limbs and softens my brow;
All to release me into a feathered slumber.
An opened door rattles and swishes
In the final spray of that very wind
Who disturbs the resting.
My eyes fall into my mind, my mind
Falls into a troubled state of dreary;
Lips slightly open, enough for a breath of wind-
Let me dream while night goes by,
And never goes by.

A Quest for Enlightenment

I’ve been awfully sick these past few days which has made it difficult to muster up the effort to do much of anything. School has ended, with the exception of one more exam on Thursday, and I have been rather anxious over all the free time I am going to be faced with. With nothing better to do than sit with my own thoughts I have decided to venture on a summer filled with all things “serene.”

I am going to force myself to channel my energy into creative and, well, happy activities as I have been feeling my life is overwhelmed with doings that bring me nothing but negative vigor. Whether it is pulling out my acrylics and painting, going to a museum or getting back into working on my poetry, I am certain I will bring a subtle light to my lonely summer. Although it is somewhat frightening for me to voyage outside of my normal, and unhealthily comfortable, routine I am determined to use this summer as a period for self discovery. I will chronicle my mundane adventure and hopefully succumb to some sort of epiphany by the time the leaves return to a crimson orange and find whatever it is I am searching for; perhaps it is an enlightened view on the irrational world and my irrational place within in.

Serene Sunday...

You know I'm lacking inspiration when I do my "Sentation Sunday" posts.

Seeing: Nature unearthing the signs of a lovely spring

Hearing: Tom Waits singing “Eggs and Sausage [In a Cadillac with Susan Michelson]”

Touching: Kneading soft homemade dough

Smelling: My freshly baked cinnamon raisin loaf!

Tasting: A desire to live a little…

Serene Saturday... Abstract of Reflection

Living without appeal, living within the field of time where you are continually reminded of your limits of a constrained and meaningless life- I can’t help but find this utterly tragic yet entirely appealing. To live with constant awareness of the uncertainty and ambiguity of an existence, where no greater life exists but your own, comforts me. My actions and judgments shield me from all that is separate from my own being; all influences that are deemed “outer”, simply said, influences that are “not me”, are completely impervious as my thoughts are my own consciousness, an awaken state only I can conceive. My own consciousness is a sole escape for an intellectual alignment and personal reality as this mindfulness is the only reality I will ever know. This internal awareness is all we will ever believe to be true; perhaps this realization is why I always right down my dreams, I never know when I am going to wake up into an unfamiliar world.

This reflective and internal contemplation is all we have that holds true, and it is this truth that carries us through this insignificant life. As I type this I question my own breath, I watch my fingers delicately touch buttons while a compilation of letters turn into words before my eyes that I believe to mean something. Brushing my hair behind my ear or closing my eyes while my fingers read the contours of my face, my lips, my eyes I become lost in a stream of mindless chattering and confusion. Am I the only one who truly exists? Is this life I experience all apart of a dream that continually transforms in relation to how I perceive it? Is there a world going on when I am not looking or is it only now, and here, where a central being is present that is defined according to my own vision? I cannot answer these questions, no one can, and so I will except this bleak understanding and remain silent in my humble life where I hold no expectations or judgments. I exist in a life that will carry me till my death and where I will try not to obey the flame and be utterly alone in doing so.

Serene Saturday... Sort of...

For the past two weeks I have neglected to post anything for “Serene Saturday/Sunday.” Perhaps my uncertainty is due to my mind lacking any sort of “serene” sentiments. School is coming to an end and I am finding myself falling into that utterly depressive phase of “where am I going in life?” Ultimately, I do know what I want but my lack of motivation and inept social graces appear to be halting me from any sort of progress. Why must my passion within an industry that involves social networking?! Last time I checked most writers and poets are introverts, or at least have a few loose screws in their head that make them uncomfortably outlandish. How the hell do I get myself out there when conversations with my bedroom walls are all the communal interaction I get?!

I suppose you’re wanting a poem from me now, a poem exuding some sort of tragic isolation I experience in which I am unable to come to terms with my desires in relation to the harshness of our contemporary world. *Sigh*… unfortunately I have nothing for you; this period of emotional ambiguity has taken a toll on my attempts to find inspiration in the natural world. I can’t help but wonder if this is it? Is this life? Waiting for tomorrow, as if it’s going to be better than today, as if tomorrow will be a significantly profound period in which the modern world no longer burdens us, rather, it relieves us of the issues we experience in the past. I think the notions of a “tomorrow” instill false hope where we succumb to an anticipation that our lives may become something extraordinary when really it will only ever be a meaningless existence. That is all.

Serene Saturday... Deep in Reverie

*Sigh* the tranquility of Paris France seems to be constantly flooding my mind lately. Perhaps the spring weather has made the imagery of cobblestone streets, historic buildings and parks much more intriguing. I have simply been overwhelmed with the thoughts of living in such a beautiful city where vintage fashion and unique finds are ample, where the leisurely people and beauty of the city offer a sense to sublimity and appreciation to anyone who visits. How can I make all of these assumptions when never traveling there? I don’t know. I guess I feel a deeper connection with the city that I am unable to deny, a brooding relationship that has always been a subconscious acceptance. Wow, that kinda sounds sexual does’t it? Giggity.
For “Serene Saturday” I am simply day dreaming of a life in Paris where I happily work a meager job as the beauty, literature, art and culture is enough to keep me alive. When I dream of a life where money and material objects no longer seem important, where a good book and walk along a old street where art nouveau has crept into every piece of architecture, that's when I made a conscious decision to make sure whatever I do in my life is something that I love.

Serene Saturday... Diamond Vision

I think we all have a fascination with all things sparkly. That crazy, wide eyed expression I get when I come across something embellished with crystals is truly priceless. Whether its clothing, jewelry, cocktail clutches or architecture, the piece always has this strange allure I can never define; to be honest, I don’t even own anything that is gem decorated in my wardrobe. Perhaps it’s the luxurious connotations associated with objects that essentially “sparkle.”

Even the word crystal exudes a sense of fantasy and imagination. Something that shines, glitters, gleams, twinkles and reflects a light that illuminates a royal image in our mind is incredibly innocent and utterly dreamlike. So for Serene Saturday I am dreaming of living within The Crystal Palace in Madrid Spain wearing a Burberry crystal encrusted trench coat while counting my glorious array of diamond rings and necklaces that drape over my vanity.
Yes, I admit it, I still dream of being a Queen, Marie Antoinette perhaps, lounging in my palace in France… without being executed by guillotine of course.

Serene Saturday... I dream of Spring Today

This is a boring post to simulate my boring Saturday. It was a gorgeous day; the shinning sun was giving us a reminder of the ever approaching spring! However, I was uninspired to do much of anything, specifically working on a term paper that has been resting ever so pleasantly on my desk for the past week. I decided to record my sensations for the day...

Seeing: The sunshine illuminating a wintered earth ready to bloom into spring

Touching: Beautifully loose fitting, black silk tapered trousers I bought!

Hearing: “Old Habits Die Hard” The Rolling Stones

Smelling: White Chocolate Brownies I baked